AUTUMNOLIC

The Sense of Being the Third Person

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 17:26:12 +0200

"I loved her.
She loved him.
She did not love me."

It seems I can't replace the trace I just got trapped. I have to feel the sense of being the third person between a couple I love so much. He's my young brother and she's my friend and also, his fiancee. It's fate, by the way. It remains a 'triangle' and I must not end up with this condition.

I told him that I loved her so much. And, I also told her that I loved her like crazy. But I felt so empty. It's like I was so grave because I had lived between a pair and tried to be a man that had no purpose in his life. Though, it was a painful decision because I had to choose 'no' in all option of being fair. I loved her, but why did I have to leave her? Was it insane?

After a month in despair, I choose to leave her. I miss her everyday; I can't even forget the way she smiles, the way she walks, or the way she talks. t hurts, actually. I just love her until I know the time I have to stop.

"It was painful to see someone you love loving somebody she loves; but it's more rewarding letting someone you love getting happiness with somebody she loves."

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Loyalty in Love

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 15:03:21 +0200

Loyalty.

It's a great honor being loyal to whoever you love. But how? Is it so easy to keep it forever?

I was thinking all over about it. In my opinion, there's no perfection in this world. There's no everlasting one. Every beginning has its ends.

But, at least, we can give the love every second of being loyal to someone we love so much.

It's hard. Really, it's so hard to keep the loyalty in our heart. Everytime we begin to be so, every pitfall begins disturbing.

However, it depends on people itself. If they have the will to do it, nothing is impossible.

Just go home. Going back to your love. Always remember that.

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Love and Autumn

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 01:11:11 +0200

Imagine. Just imagine the blooming leaves and flowers of the Autumn in your brain.

Do you feel the impression and harmony? At least a bit?

Now put yourself like you're in orchestra stadium. Feel an instrumental song. You don't have to sing. Just take it easy.

Do you feel your broken heart? Feel the whole memories you can't forget about someone special? Feel the pain inside?

Rest the situation with tears. Put yourself like what you are.

It's the Autumn. When you fall and you can't stand up, you must realize if your life does not have to end. Just go on. Like blooming leaves and flowers. You don't have to change yourself totally but erase all the pain that bothers you and take away the negative response in your own self.

Sometimes, we've to decide. Out of the negative or stay on the negative. Just follow the Autumn.

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Graffiti of Love

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 00:56:37 +0200

Graffiti and Love.

A mutual combination between creativity and heart. Creativity demonstrates what you feel and heart completes the purpose. Well, love does not have to pay doubt when you stuck in the corner of decision to grab it.

What you write in your diary is the graffiti and it's what your love wants. It becomes creativity. Creativity to make everyday happy. Love also needs change. It's boring as you demonstrate what you feel in the same ways.

Graffiti helps you thinking about a survive to have your love on your shoulder and love is what you have to choose. The right path is inside your heart.

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Unusual is Special

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 13:47:10 +0200

Do you always see something unusual?

A bit strange or there's something wrong?

Or you may feel it in your heart?

Throbbing fast like train or running rapidly like a rabbit?

Perhaps it's love. It makes someone clever being stupid. It makes someone stupid having energy to be clever. But the point is, love appears when you realize it's unusual.

You may find your love anywhere. Halte, cafe, garden, park, mountain, village, etc. As you don't have any clear purpose, sometimes love brings you to another place you never intend to go. That's your fate.

When you agree if love's unusual, then it becomes special. You find a miracle. And when you get the moment, grab it, and never let it hit by another one!

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Love and Trauma

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 08:21:20 +0200

Trauma.

Have you ever eperience that?

Have you ever love someone and something bad happens in your chemistry?

Can you forget it? At least a while?

Can you heal yourself as you realize it's impossible?

Feel desperated? Strange? Hurting? On bended knee?

How to solve that terrible trademark?

You can smile. Force it when you're not ready.
You may cry. Don't pretend like you're tough. Just cry.
You may forget anything about the source that causes trauma. But it's not really instant. Just follow it so slow.
You may write what you feel in a piece of paper. No matter how sad it is, just write and you find the missing piece.

However, trauma is not really bad. It's also a lesson to make us quite tough to face every pitfall.

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Love:Stop Searching That Is Not There

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 01:29:55 +0200

Dream.

You can dream a lot in your mind. Anything.

But, how many precious seconds of your life gone? A day, a month, a year? Searching the love that you dream?

Face the reality. What you see is what you can touch. Don't just feel it like you already have it. You get none!

You write red letters to someone. Someone you like so much. But the letters are kept useless in your diary. Sentences of dream

Stop now!

Come to him. Talk to him. You don't have to lead your brain and assume like he's the only target you can love. Does he love you? You don't know, right? Now lead the point like you're friends. Don't take it too personally until you dream again.

The following is fate. Let the fate bring you to reality. Stop searching that isn't there. Time is precious.

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Love: the Beginning until the End

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 01:03:11 +0200

The beginning.

The clock is ticking. Searching for your debut to love someone. You take the choice. You have to feel and survive with the choice. You begin the source of love, you have to keep anything in every side. Along this road, you may have many careful moments to explore. Instead, the beginning may be sweet or shit. You lead the way.

The End.

The clock is still ticking. Searching for real happiness. You take the choice. You should feel and survive with your choice. You should keep anything in every side. You should be careful with the moments along the road you follow. Instead, the end may be sweet or shit. Perhaps both. You lead the way and never turn around with the fate. Fate is always with you. Whenever, wherever.

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When Love Hurts You

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 00:30:16 +0200

Lesson.

Life is full of precious lessons. As love grabs you, you will find many critical moments to explore. Through love, you learn:

1. How to decide wisely when you're in the mid of hell and heaven.
2. How to love somebody and survive to avoid another one being exist
between you.
3. How to understand love's negativeness and positiveness.
4. How to learn positioning yourself in one particular love.
5. How to be the responsible one for someone on your shoulder.
6. How to appreciate your honey and yourself.
7. How to be strong when you're living alone.
8. How to solve personal matters as you're hurt by love.
And many more...

But when you're hurt by love, try listening these tracks and explode yourself as you have to cry. Feel the touch and the impression that you'll get. Perhaps you can beat your broken heart.

1. "Home" - Michael Buble
2. "On Bended Knee" - Boyz II Men
3. "Swear" - All 4 One
4. "More Than Words" - Extreme
5. "If You're Not the One" - Daniel Bedingfield
6. "Reflection" - Christina Aguilera
7. "Unbreak My Heart" - Toni Braxton
8. "Soledad" - Westlife
9. "Hero" - Mariah Carey
10."It Hurts" - Angels and Airwaves

The purpose listening to these songs, whether you feel strange or not, is to defeat the darkest days of your life. Tell the world that you're not dead; you'll be alive no matter you stuck. Tell yourself that you can find somebody better than before. Just follow your heart and stop dreaming something isn't there. Enough having yourself locked in the coldest room. Try to feel the warmth of today. Never give up!

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Life Beyond Love

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 16:07:02 +0200

Summer.
Fall.
Winter.
Autumn.

They're life. They're also like love. Everybody has different taste for love.

If you're sad, feel the sun in the Summer.
If you're happy, sense the falling leaves of the Fall.
If you're dry, feel every bit of tears of the Winter.
If you're down, sense the blooming flowers of the Autumn.

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Love Is...

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 15:07:22 +0200

Sometimes, love is like mountain. Too high to reach. Too high when you fall to the ground.

Love is also like streets. Too many obstacles to find the right point. Too many branches to follow.

Often, love is like home. The safe place to rest. You come and go away. The sweetest room to stay.

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You Avoid Love, Love Remains More

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 13:34:18 +0200

In the past, I'd ever be someone who hated love.

For now, the half of my life is through love.

The next, I don't have any idea about love. I let it going like river blows. I can't see the thing inside a big stone. Now is now. Future is later, anyway.

Look inside your heart. Could you hate love? A little thing that makes everything different and so special?

Hate love like you intend to kill someone you hate so much. It happens when you are hurt by love. Hate it until you cry. Let anything that hurts you going outside.

You can feel every little memory. Both sweet and bad memories. A sequence of mistakes, confidence, leisure, and many more. That's love.

You can't forget it; the hardest way you could take. You can say, it's really gone. But, anyway, it's not really gone. It remains little in your heart as another precious experience that's useful when you face your life in the future.

That's love.

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Love Is Everyday

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 12:04:22 +0200

Imagine. Just imagine love in your brain.

Feel. Just feel love in your heart.

What do you find?

It's strength. Strength to grab everyday with our hands. Strength to face the world's problems. Strength to solve our personal matters. We can say, "Forget anything for now. Just think about today."

Happiness. Sadness.

Love has to laugh and cry. It's sense of the most powerful icon in our life. Death and fate are the pitfalls. The heart is the couples. Everybody has memories. Love is everyday.

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Tukul, the Indonesia Phenomenon

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 12:57:34 +0100

Tukul (read: too-cool) definitely grabs the hearts of his 'abnormal' fans in Indonesia today. He is succeed bringing himself to the top throughout other Indonesia's most favorite reality shows with his unpredictable jokes. If someone tries to fool himself, he will be more comprehensive to respond it with more ridiculous acts; though, his answers will be so unacceptable to their ears because they're quite rough to say. However, Tukul does not attempt to make anyone hurt with his jokes; he often assures his jokes are spontaneous and he's sorry if someone's too sensitive to respond them as normal jokes. And it is what Tukul always be. He never means to be the others or slip out himself into new pieces. He does not forget what God already gives to him.

EMPAT MATA (read: heart-to-heart) is his reality show which is broadcasted on Trans 7. It is an entertainment program--for whoever feels boring and departed--which is on the first rank in Indonesia nowadays. It is broadcasted on 9:30 p.m (in Indonesia), entertains anyone throughout Indonesia and shows up many different local celebrities into the surface as Tukul's guests. This program whips many Indonesian's attentions because Tukul brings it with his uncommon style and he makes this program like someone is watching his world at home.

His guests are the vital point of the program; it's attention-grabbing as the guests are comedians like Tukul himself. Tukul just opens his laptop (read: notebook) and he begins asking his guests many questions which are beckoned to be a natural comedy. It's the foremost strength of the program; Tukul makes anything so natural, funny, and fascinating. The naturality of his jokes is the main reason why this program is called 'phenomenal'.

At least, Tukul demonstrates his skill in 'embarassing' anyone in his program without counterfeiting another comedian's style. Indeed, he does not truly discomfit anyone; he also discomfits himself and let himself ashamed by his guests. He begins everything so unpredictable and appears some funny jargons which have never be exist: his 'monkey-clappings', 'bold lips', 'fish moustache', 'golf-ball eyes' 'tak sobek-sobek', 'puas? puas? are some of his unique style.

By the way, Tukul is down to earth behind his phenomenal success. He does not overlook the sad background of his past as a cheap driver. He knows his success remains a while; he believes there is a moment in the future that his triumph will be forgotten. Before I forget, Tukul is just a human who wants to make anyone to be not too serious confronting the world; at least, he wishes people grabbing a moment to sit a while, drink a cup of coffee, and learn to loose the link of their burden like they arrive at the heaven. Go for it!

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