AUTUMNOLIC

"I loved her.
She loved him.
She did not love me."

It seems I can't replace the trace I just got trapped. I have to feel the sense of being the third person between a couple I love so much. He's my young brother and she's my friend and also, his fiancee. It's fate, by the way. It remains a 'triangle' and I must not end up with this condition.

I told him that I loved her so much. And, I also told her that I loved her like crazy. But I felt so empty. It's like I was so grave because I had lived between a pair and tried to be a man that had no purpose in his life. Though, it was a painful decision because I had to choose 'no' in all option of being fair. I loved her, but why did I have to leave her? Was it insane?

After a month in despair, I choose to leave her. I miss her everyday; I can't even forget the way she smiles, the way she walks, or the way she talks. t hurts, actually. I just love her until I know the time I have to stop.

"It was painful to see someone you love loving somebody she loves; but it's more rewarding letting someone you love getting happiness with somebody she loves."

Loyalty.

It's a great honor being loyal to whoever you love. But how? Is it so easy to keep it forever?

I was thinking all over about it. In my opinion, there's no perfection in this world. There's no everlasting one. Every beginning has its ends.

But, at least, we can give the love every second of being loyal to someone we love so much.

It's hard. Really, it's so hard to keep the loyalty in our heart. Everytime we begin to be so, every pitfall begins disturbing.

However, it depends on people itself. If they have the will to do it, nothing is impossible.

Just go home. Going back to your love. Always remember that.

Imagine. Just imagine the blooming leaves and flowers of the Autumn in your brain.

Do you feel the impression and harmony? At least a bit?

Now put yourself like you're in orchestra stadium. Feel an instrumental song. You don't have to sing. Just take it easy.

Do you feel your broken heart? Feel the whole memories you can't forget about someone special? Feel the pain inside?

Rest the situation with tears. Put yourself like what you are.

It's the Autumn. When you fall and you can't stand up, you must realize if your life does not have to end. Just go on. Like blooming leaves and flowers. You don't have to change yourself totally but erase all the pain that bothers you and take away the negative response in your own self.

Sometimes, we've to decide. Out of the negative or stay on the negative. Just follow the Autumn.

Graffiti and Love.

A mutual combination between creativity and heart. Creativity demonstrates what you feel and heart completes the purpose. Well, love does not have to pay doubt when you stuck in the corner of decision to grab it.

What you write in your diary is the graffiti and it's what your love wants. It becomes creativity. Creativity to make everyday happy. Love also needs change. It's boring as you demonstrate what you feel in the same ways.

Graffiti helps you thinking about a survive to have your love on your shoulder and love is what you have to choose. The right path is inside your heart.

Do you always see something unusual?

A bit strange or there's something wrong?

Or you may feel it in your heart?

Throbbing fast like train or running rapidly like a rabbit?

Perhaps it's love. It makes someone clever being stupid. It makes someone stupid having energy to be clever. But the point is, love appears when you realize it's unusual.

You may find your love anywhere. Halte, cafe, garden, park, mountain, village, etc. As you don't have any clear purpose, sometimes love brings you to another place you never intend to go. That's your fate.

When you agree if love's unusual, then it becomes special. You find a miracle. And when you get the moment, grab it, and never let it hit by another one!

Trauma.

Have you ever eperience that?

Have you ever love someone and something bad happens in your chemistry?

Can you forget it? At least a while?

Can you heal yourself as you realize it's impossible?

Feel desperated? Strange? Hurting? On bended knee?

How to solve that terrible trademark?

You can smile. Force it when you're not ready.
You may cry. Don't pretend like you're tough. Just cry.
You may forget anything about the source that causes trauma. But it's not really instant. Just follow it so slow.
You may write what you feel in a piece of paper. No matter how sad it is, just write and you find the missing piece.

However, trauma is not really bad. It's also a lesson to make us quite tough to face every pitfall.

Dream.

You can dream a lot in your mind. Anything.

But, how many precious seconds of your life gone? A day, a month, a year? Searching the love that you dream?

Face the reality. What you see is what you can touch. Don't just feel it like you already have it. You get none!

You write red letters to someone. Someone you like so much. But the letters are kept useless in your diary. Sentences of dream

Stop now!

Come to him. Talk to him. You don't have to lead your brain and assume like he's the only target you can love. Does he love you? You don't know, right? Now lead the point like you're friends. Don't take it too personally until you dream again.

The following is fate. Let the fate bring you to reality. Stop searching that isn't there. Time is precious.

The beginning.

The clock is ticking. Searching for your debut to love someone. You take the choice. You have to feel and survive with the choice. You begin the source of love, you have to keep anything in every side. Along this road, you may have many careful moments to explore. Instead, the beginning may be sweet or shit. You lead the way.

The End.

The clock is still ticking. Searching for real happiness. You take the choice. You should feel and survive with your choice. You should keep anything in every side. You should be careful with the moments along the road you follow. Instead, the end may be sweet or shit. Perhaps both. You lead the way and never turn around with the fate. Fate is always with you. Whenever, wherever.

Lesson.

Life is full of precious lessons. As love grabs you, you will find many critical moments to explore. Through love, you learn:

1. How to decide wisely when you're in the mid of hell and heaven.
2. How to love somebody and survive to avoid another one being exist
between you.
3. How to understand love's negativeness and positiveness.
4. How to learn positioning yourself in one particular love.
5. How to be the responsible one for someone on your shoulder.
6. How to appreciate your honey and yourself.
7. How to be strong when you're living alone.
8. How to solve personal matters as you're hurt by love.
And many more...

But when you're hurt by love, try listening these tracks and explode yourself as you have to cry. Feel the touch and the impression that you'll get. Perhaps you can beat your broken heart.

1. "Home" - Michael Buble
2. "On Bended Knee" - Boyz II Men
3. "Swear" - All 4 One
4. "More Than Words" - Extreme
5. "If You're Not the One" - Daniel Bedingfield
6. "Reflection" - Christina Aguilera
7. "Unbreak My Heart" - Toni Braxton
8. "Soledad" - Westlife
9. "Hero" - Mariah Carey
10."It Hurts" - Angels and Airwaves

The purpose listening to these songs, whether you feel strange or not, is to defeat the darkest days of your life. Tell the world that you're not dead; you'll be alive no matter you stuck. Tell yourself that you can find somebody better than before. Just follow your heart and stop dreaming something isn't there. Enough having yourself locked in the coldest room. Try to feel the warmth of today. Never give up!

Summer.
Fall.
Winter.
Autumn.

They're life. They're also like love. Everybody has different taste for love.

If you're sad, feel the sun in the Summer.
If you're happy, sense the falling leaves of the Fall.
If you're dry, feel every bit of tears of the Winter.
If you're down, sense the blooming flowers of the Autumn.